I did not expect a silicone dildo to make me buy a second beach towel, but here we are. The Squirting 10 Function Rechargeable Dildo Vibrator 7 Inch from Lovehoney showed up in a very unassuming brown box, and eleven days later, it has fundamentally reorganized my nightstand drawer, my Tuesday nights, and my relationship with disposable pads. This review is based on eleven days of hands-on (and, well, everywhere-else-on) testing, so consider this your no-nonsense, thoroughly used field report before you hit “add to cart.”
If you’re new here: I test adult products so you don’t have to gamble $99.99 blind. And this one is a genuinely interesting gamble, because it’s not just a vibrator, and it’s not just a dildo — it’s a squirting dildo vibrator, which means it does the thing that usually only happens in movies you’re too embarrassed to admit you’ve watched. Let’s dig into the specs, the highs, the lows, and whether the Squirting 10 Function Rechargeable Dildo earns a permanent spot in your collection.
What Exactly Is This Thing?
The Squirting 10 Function Rechargeable Dildo Vibrator is a realistic 7-inch silicone dildo with a hollow reservoir designed to release fluid (water, lube, or a squirting-cream substitute — never anything oil-based) at the moment of your choosing, layered on top of 10 distinct vibration functions. It’s essentially two toys stitched into one shaft: a lifelike, veiny, silicone dildo for penetrative play, and a built-in “ejaculation” mechanism that turns your bedroom into a Slip’N Slide when triggered.
Key Specifications
- Length: 7 inches total, with 6.5 inches insertable — enough to feel substantial without requiring a safe word for size alone.
- Circumference: 5.5 inches, which lands comfortably in “confident but not clown-car” territory.
- Material: Body-safe silicone — soft, skin-like texture with zero weird chemical smell out of the box.
- Vibration functions: 10 patterns and intensities, everything from a gentle hum to a “did the neighbors just knock” rumble.
- Squirting capacity: Holds up to 0.3 fl oz of liquid for a satisfying, on-demand release.
- Base: Suction cup, making hands-free and shower-wall shenanigans possible.
- Power: USB rechargeable, waterproof, no batteries to hunt for at 11 p.m.
- Price: $99.99, with Lovehoney’s usual free shipping and money-back guarantee.
According to Lovehoney’s own listing, the toy currently sits at 3.9 out of 5 stars across verified reviews, with customers repeatedly praising the realistic feel and the “surprisingly powerful” squirting function, while a few noted the fill-and-clean routine takes some getting used to. My eleven-day experience lines up almost exactly with that consensus, so let’s break it down properly.
Eleven Days of Testing: The Play-by-Play
I didn’t just unbox this thing and call it a day. I ran the Squirting 10 Function Rechargeable Dildo Vibrator through a real routine — solo sessions, partnered sessions, a shower test (waterproof claims must be verified, people), and a “let’s see how loud this actually gets at 2 a.m.” test that I do not recommend if you have thin apartment walls.
Day one was mostly logistics: charging the toy fully (it took roughly the time of a sitcom episode), figuring out the fill mechanism, and testing the vibration settings dry-docked, so to speak. By day three, I’d worked through all 10 vibration functions and had firm opinions about at least four of them. By day seven, the squirting function had graduated from “novelty” to “actually kind of the whole point,” and by day eleven, cleanup had become second nature instead of a science experiment.
The Vibration Functions
The 10 functions range from steady low hums to pulsing, escalating patterns, and a couple of downright aggressive settings that live in the toy’s upper register. The motor is positioned to send buzz through the shaft rather than isolating it at the tip, so depending on your anatomy and preferences, you may find the sensation more “full-body rumble” than “pinpoint precision.” I personally loved the mid-range patterns for warm-up and the highest setting for the grand finale — though your mileage, as always, will vary.
The Squirting Function
Here’s the headline feature, and I’ll be honest: it delivers. Filling the reservoir takes about thirty seconds with the included syringe-style filler, and triggering the release is as simple as a firm squeeze at the base. The 0.3 fl oz capacity is enough for a genuinely dramatic finish without turning your sheets into a crime scene — assuming you’ve laid down a towel, which you absolutely should. The realism factor here is what elevates the Squirting 10 Function Rechargeable Dildo Vibrator 7 Inch above a standard vibrating dildo; it’s less “toy with a gimmick” and more “toy with a genuinely fun party trick.”
“I wasn’t prepared for how satisfying the timing control was — you decide the moment, and that alone makes it feel less like a novelty and more like a legitimate feature.” — a sentiment echoed by several verified Lovehoney reviewers, and one I fully co-sign after day nine.
Pros: Why This Toy Earned Its Spot on My Nightstand
- The squirting function actually works, reliably. Unlike some gimmicky “novelty” toys that dribble apologetically, this one commits to the bit every single time, which counts for a lot when you’re paying full price for a feature.
- Realistic texture and flexible shaft. The silicone is soft enough to feel genuinely lifelike but firm enough to maintain shape during, ahem, vigorous use — a balance a lot of competitors get wrong.
- Genuinely strong vibrations for the price point. At $99.99, getting both a squirting mechanism AND ten legitimately powerful vibration settings feels like getting two toys for the price of one moody, underwhelming single-function toy.
- Hands-free versatility via the suction cup base. It sticks to tile, headboards, and (in one memorable but slightly reckless test) the inside of my shower door, opening up positions that a handheld toy just can’t match.
- Rechargeable and waterproof. No batteries, no anxiety about it dying at the worst possible moment, and full shower/bath compatibility once it’s charged.
Cons: Where It Falls Short
- Cleanup requires actual effort. The hollow reservoir means you can’t just wipe it down and move on — you need to flush the internal chamber with warm water and a bit of toy cleaner every single time, which is a genuine chore compared to solid silicone toys.
- The fill-and-trigger mechanism has a learning curve. My first two attempts resulted in a weak dribble instead of a dramatic release because I hadn’t packed the reservoir correctly — expect a slightly awkward adjustment period.
- It’s louder than the marketing photos suggest. The higher vibration settings have a buzzy hum that will absolutely travel through a thin apartment wall, so plan your session timing accordingly if you have roommates or nosy neighbors.
- Not a great “grab and go” travel toy. Between the fill mechanism, the cleaning requirements, and the charging cable, this is very much a stay-at-home toy rather than something you’re tossing in an overnight bag.
Who Should (and Shouldn’t) Buy This
If you’ve been curious about squirting play, want a realistic dildo with genuine vibration power, and don’t mind a slightly more involved cleaning routine, the Squirting 10 Function Rechargeable Dildo Vibrator 7 Inch is a strong buy at its price point. It’s especially good for people who like variety — solo play, partnered play, shower play, and the novelty factor of the squirt mechanism all in one toy.
If you want something ultra low-maintenance, whisper-quiet, or pocket-sized for travel, this isn’t your toy. It’s a commitment toy: a bit of setup, a bit of cleanup, but a genuinely fun payoff every time.
Final Verdict
After eleven days of real, repeated use, the Squirting 10 Function Rechargeable Dildo Vibrator earns a solid recommendation. It nails the two things it promises — realistic vibration and a genuinely satisfying squirting release — and the few drawbacks (cleanup, learning curve, noise) are minor compared to the novelty and versatility you get for $99.99. It’s rare that a toy with this many moving parts (literally) manages to feel more fun than fussy, but this one pulls it off.
If you’re ready to add a little drama to your routine, the Squirting 10 Function Rechargeable Dildo Vibrator 7 Inch is currently available below, backed by their money-back guarantee — so if it’s not your perfect match, you’re not stuck with it. Grab a towel, grab the toy, and thank me later.